Saw this song posted on a friend’s facebook page….goes perfect with this post….
Thursday September 27, 2012I am grateful for:
Fog, ferns, finches, fragile and delicate spider webs woven between two tall stalks of wheat-type grass…
Flora and fauna, Fall(the season) fall(ing in love)
Freakishly furry felines; furry, friendly pups and their friendly people;
Friendliness, friends, friendship
The letter “F”…letters in general, Language!
Love…of family, of friends, for/of my lover; of life in general;
Legs that work and work wonderfully well and get me up and out and walking through the fog then through, later, the lifting fog and the beautiful, blue sky behind and beneath it;
Frog-song, bird-song, songs, songs made up of sounds, simple songs, sophisticated ones, symphonies…
Soup, silliness, sleep in a warm, comfy, cozy bed and that surge of something that gets me up out of that bed and sends me out the door and on that walk…through the fog…
Today starts my second quarter of being in school after being out of school for 25 years. I’m doubling up on my credit load, 10 instead of 5 credit hours and feeling some trepidation about it but I think I can manage it, though it will be stretching and working all kinds of “muscles” of the non-body variety in ways beyond which they’ve grown accustomed over the past 14 years. For those past years I was initially a completely “stay at home” mom and then a part-time stay at home mom. So on top of not being full-time in the workforce for many years, a move across the country and the down-turn of the economy, that occurred two years into our relocation, have made getting gainfully employed full-time, without the benefit of further education, beyond my reach… apparently. Thanks in part to the encouraging nudges of a very significant person in my life, who is not my husband, I finally dredged up the hope that I might be able to grow some confidence in myself by getting training in an occupation that is in demand, one which I think I will enjoy and to which I feel I am well suited.
So I’m traveling down this road that will hopefully lead me to a place where I can become independent of a marriage that has been good, sadly, for really just one thing, though that one thing is a huge and wonderful thing, our daughter. I stuck around in this marriage initially because her dad is, though not a good partner or friend, a very good father. I relocated with him to where we’ve lived for the past six years to keep my daughter’s family intact and because I’d always wanted to live in the Pacific Northwest(always being since I visited here at the age of 20). For the past two and a half + years I’ve stayed because it’s been financially impossible to do otherwise without completely disrupting my daughter’s life by taking her away from the home she’s come to love and one or the other of her parents.
Suffice it to say it is quite a long and complicated story and I’ve never been any good at the short and sweet version of things, so more of the background will just have to wait til another time. My whole point is that at 52 years of age I’m hoping to become a big-time blooming late bloomer and to show myself and my daughter that 52 is NOT to old to begin making some very important dreams come true.