It’s so funny (as in muse-worthy) how easy it is for me to get out of touch with certain of the activities in life that feed me. In fact it would seem that I have a remarkable case of amnesia when it comes to these things. These very things are often the ones I resist most, knowing (or at least suspecting) that, were I to go outside for that walk or better yet make that short drive up to the mountains and go on a hike, for example, that my mood, actually my very being, would be enhanced significantly. The same holds true with what happens when I am finally able to get myself outside to pull the weeds that seem bent on perpetuating themselves throughout my yard. I feel nourished, energized, connected….. and the creative juices of what’s possible start flowing as ideas for what I might add to the garden begin to pop into my head. It’s the nurture of being active in nature, in those situations.
Then consider what happens when I don’t talk myself out of attending a gathering I’ve committed myself to. I joined several Meet-up groups as a way of building community when I moved to Colorado almost three years ago. Friendships just don’t sprout with the ease that they did when I was young but I’ve found one recurring meet-up in one of the groups that I really like. Nonetheless it’s still always a matter of pushing myself to attend, a bit more pushing required though because, unlike a walk in nature or communing with the weeds, the players are much more variable. But the majority of the time, assuming I attend with an open, unattached attitude, I’m really glad I’ve gone and come away feeling nourished and enriched.
Then there are all the instances of tasks I put off for any number of reasons: housecleaning is boring, paying bills is a downer, a new task is scary in its unfamiliarity. And with the procrastination they all weigh heavier on my psyche. When I finally quit resisting and instead embrace an item on the eternal ‘todo’ list, the relief I experience, while not being nourishing exactly, is at least an indicator that my energy is no longer being depleted. And the sense of accomplishment I experience is nourishing.
So what’s the takeaway? Resist less, embrace more and when that persistent amnesia strikes yet again, forgive always.
Great post! ! Started this 50-something’s week off right!!
This morning, as I was perusing my Facebook timeline, I happened upon an article that a lovely friend shared. It was entitled “24 Things Women Should Stop Wearing After Age 30”, and it triggered Maximum Eye-Rolling from everyone who took the time out to read it.
Written by Kallie Provencher for RantChic.com, this “article” (I use the term loosely) highlighted things such as “leopard print”, “graphic tees”, and “short dresses” (because “By this age, women should know it’s always better to leave something to the imagination”). Kallie, it seems, has a number of opinions on what women over 30 should and shouldn’t be doing, having also penned “30 Things Women Over 30 Shouldn’t Own” and “20 Pictures Women Over 30 Need To Stop Posting Online”. (What is this magical post-30 land where women are suddenly not allowed to do or own so many things?!)
Motivated by Kallie’s “article”, I decided to…
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I woke up around 6 this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep. I miss the comforting, reassuring, ‘all is right with the world’ sound of my Ella’s breathing and I cannot fall back to sleep…
I don’t know if I have the energy to even begin to write about this. It’s been months and months since I’ve written anything, not due to lack of energy, but due to lack of interest, lack of need. But now there is a need and that need is coping with the sudden and unexpected loss of my dear, sweet, funny only 71/2 year old, Ella pup.
She died Sunday evening while I was at work and my daughter was home, alone, except for Ella. As my daughter said, she’d never really been home alone when I was at work. But she will be now. There was no warning at all. One minute Ella was eating and drinking, then wanting to go outside and go potty. Minutes later(not sure how many exactly) Emely looked up from her work and saw Ella laying out in the backyard….something she did often. She loved the backyard. So Em tapped on the window to get her attention and got no response. Then she opened the window and called to her and still no response. She then went outside and touched her then shook her and still no response. From their the nightmare only got worse.
I will not detail here what came next and next after that as Emely and then Emely, with her dad, did to save Ella, actually it was to bring her back to life. Because, although Emely suspected at some level, that Ella had already moved on, her dad, who came later to the scene, was not convinced. So she did everything she could before he arrived and after he got to our house and while they drove around trying to find an open vet clinic(on a Sunday evening) to either save her or bring her back to life….for all of our sakes, but to no avail.
But this post is not supposed to be about everything my wonderful, strong, brave daughter, (who would be mortified if she knew I was writing about her) did to save our Ella, but instead about all of the ways our sweet, funny, larger then life, furry family member enriched and filled our lives. She was taken too soon. I want to memorialize her and remember her here and in future posts, because she was such a wonderful gift and blessing to our family. A wonderful, soft, sometimes smelly salve for life’s bumps and bruises was she. I just was not prepared to have to deal with this yet. I always thought we’d have her til she was 10 at least. Whatever it is that determines life’s beginnings and endings can be so incredibly cruel…
Has anyone out there ever wished for a free do-over? I mean who hasn’t? There are the little do-overs and there are the big ones. I have a wish for a big one.
I had this very close, beloved friend. As with all of my good friends, at this point in my life, we don’t live in the same city. So time spent with any of them is precious and not near enough. In the case of this friend we were fortunate to be able to spend some time together over Thanksgiving. During our time together a huge and heated difference of opinion, regarding something very important to both of our hearts, came about. Sadly the difference of opinion resulted in our time together being cut short. We didn’t part on good terms. But we began a communication by email in an effort to reach some sort of understanding.
So now for the do-over part. Always in the past we’ve been able to work things out over time and through phone calls. However in this situation I let my fear and hurt get the better of me and instead of calling…instead of expressing my concern for my friend…when said friend stopped responding to my emails, and other attempts at correspondence, I let more and more time pass in between each of my attempts at communication. And still, knowing this friend and knowing how she is and how hard it can be for her to reach out, I let my fear of further conflict, my hurt and anger over the existing conflict and maybe some stubborness or a feeling that maybe it was her turn this time to reach across the gap, get the better of me and I pulled further and further back.
Then one day, without letting her know that I was struggling with her silence, without letting her know how scared and hurt and convinced that she was finished with our friendship I was, instead of reaching out and attempting to communicate these things with her I just unfriended her on facebook. When she responded, shocked that I would do such a thing, I sent an email explaining myself, but, once again, let my fear get the better of me and did not take that risk of calling her.
So things ended very badly and she has asked me not to be in communication with her ever again. Now I do not mean to imply that she bears no responsibility for how things went. Because I think the responsibility is shared between the two of us. But, had I, knowing her as I’d come to know her, taken that risk to reach out and actually talk with her instead of how I did things, maybe we, at the very least, could have come to a point of agreeing to disagree and parted ways in a better way than we did. Of course the best case scenario would have been that we would have found our way to common ground and still been friends to this day.
But that’s not how it went and I remain very, very sad…missing her very, very much. I’m having trouble letting go and moving on…..
Wish I could have a “do-over”…..
My dear friend of MANY years wrote this back in 2012. Of course the message is a timeless one and the writing is…well see for yourself!
“Why aren’t you out there helping people instead of animals?”
I see this sentiment expressed sometimes, usually in some online comment section, where the person writing it revels in snarkiness, almost always under the cloak of anonymity.
While I usually dismiss these sourpusses as your basic animal and people haters, their question always makes me think about how easy it is to view these two groups – animals and people — as being separate when it comes to animal rescue. Of course, we know that the animals we find homes for are going to live with people. However, because our objective is saving animals, it’s mainly the animals on which we focus.
A lot of that focus is simple practicality. This is how rescuing a dog often goes: “I have to fatten up this starved dog I got out of the pound. Then I’ve got to get her treated…
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