My Ella is no more in this world

I woke up around 6 this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep.  I miss the comforting, reassuring, ‘all is right with the world’ sound of my Ella’s breathing and I cannot fall back to sleep…

I don’t know if I have the energy to even begin to write about this.  It’s been months and months since I’ve written anything, not due to lack of energy, but due to lack of interest, lack of need.  But now there is a need and that need is coping with the sudden and unexpected loss of my dear, sweet, funny only 71/2 year old, Ella pup.

She died Sunday evening while I was at work and my daughter was home, alone, except for Ella.  As my daughter said, she’d never really been home alone when I was at work.  But she will be now.  There was no warning at all.  One minute Ella was eating and drinking, then wanting to go outside and go potty.  Minutes later(not sure how many exactly) Emely looked up from her work and saw Ella laying out in the backyard….something she did often.  She loved the backyard.  So Em tapped on the window to get her attention and got no response.  Then she opened the window and called to her and still no response.  She then went outside and touched her then shook her and still no response.  From their the nightmare only got worse.

I will not detail here what came next and next after that as Emely and then Emely, with her dad, did to save Ella, actually it was to bring her back to life.  Because, although Emely suspected at some level, that Ella had already moved on, her dad, who came later to the scene, was not convinced.  So she did everything she could before he arrived and after he got to our house and while they drove around trying to find an open vet clinic(on a Sunday evening) to either save her or bring her back to life….for all of our sakes, but to no avail.

But this post is not supposed to be about everything my wonderful, strong, brave daughter, (who would be mortified if she knew I was writing about her) did to save our Ella, but instead about all of the ways our sweet, funny, larger then life, furry family member enriched and filled our lives.  She was taken too soon. I want to memorialize her and remember her here and in future posts, because she was such a wonderful gift and blessing to our family.  A wonderful, soft, sometimes smelly salve for life’s bumps and bruises was she.  I just was not prepared to have to deal with this yet.  I always thought we’d have her til she was 10 at least.  Whatever it is that determines life’s beginnings and endings can be so incredibly cruel…

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